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Not so bad?

Back at the dawn of time, or a couple months ago, the thing that prompted the flurry of medical tests resulting in my cancer diagnosis was that I could feel something odd internally while doing yoga, specifically when lying face-down on the floor. That something turned out to be a tumor on my liver, the Wurst. Ew. Ick. Ugh.

I modified my yoga routine to avoid that position.

This morning I added it back in, largely to encourage the cat standing on my back to disembark before I did something that might encourage inserting claws to maintain stability.

I couldn’t feel the Wurst.

This is purely subjective, and could mean absolutely nothing. I have a bit of medically-induced PTSD already, after several rounds of “that’s nothing,” followed by, “oh wait, that’s really horrible.” It makes me terribly reluctant to accept anything potentially good as potentially good. And I can tell you my next CT scan is going to be utterly terrifying.

But still… yay?

16 Comments

  1. Toni says:

    *tentative yay*

    Since you’ve lost weight, if it hasn’t shrank you should be able to feel it even easier, right?

    When is your next CT scan?

  2. Anne C. says:

    I know it does nothing, but… fingers crossed! 😀 (Read as awkward and anxious fake grin…)

  3. Nick / Thorvaaldr says:

    Yay, yay, yay!

  4. Sarah says:

    Toni, you might think that, but I’m trying to not read too much into this because who knows.

    My next CT scan isn’t scheduled yet, but you can be certain I’ll be agonizing about it here.

  5. MWT says:

    Hmm well, as long as they don’t find that it’s your liver that has dissolved instead of the Wurst, it probably will be okay?

  6. Sarah says:

    Considering my digestive system still functions and I’m getting bloodwork every two weeks, I’m pretty sure the working parts of my liver are still doing so.

    I’m not really supposed to perform the sort of stress tests that involve drinking alcohol, though, or I’d know for sure.

  7. Marjorie says:

    Tentative Yay!!

  8. Liam F says:

    I’d take that as a positive.

  9. Vince says:

    I’ll also take that as a tentative positive.

  10. Carol Reed says:

    Take it as a good sign, and hope for an even better sign soon. You need the hope. (As do we all!)

  11. Katrin says:

    Well… that’s at least not a really unequivocally bad sign. Especially since your liver is still there and doing its job!
    (I totally understand not wanting to break out the yay prematurely. Put it on ice, so it keeps!)

  12. I’d count that as a hell yeah!

  13. Na says:

    i’ll go with the tentative “yay”s. 🙂

  14. Lora says:

    If nothing else, it’s a yay because you can’t feel it. And I keep yawing for you every day.

  15. If it helps, on the other side of the CT the operators are also hoping to not find something.

  16. MG Ellington says:

    Hope this an awesome sign of the test results to come.