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Here we go again

I have a fabulous medical team, and they’ve been very good about getting me in to talk to all the relevant experts. But every time you talk to a medical expert, they want just one more test.

Which is how I won the “two colonoscopies in three weeks” lottery. This time, an endoscopic ultrasound.

I am SO NOT AMUSED. I want the experts to have good data, but I don’t want to be a science experiment all the time, especially not a cranky, unfed, full-of-laxatives science experiment. Every time I think they’ve finally run out of tests, they come up with something else, and it’s usually disgusting, undignified, and involves not eating.

Speaking of which, this is the first time ever I’ve had to think about not eating enough. My appetite was good throughout chemo, and the anti-nausea drugs were 100% effective the entire time, but my general digestive system is not enthusiastic about the world right now, and it’s making a lot of things sound unappealing. I’ve been eating a lot of toast, and that’s really not a balanced diet. I’ve also been very tired, and that hasn’t improved my ability to feed myself correctly. Nick’s back has been bad this week too, so less cooking support than usual.

I’ve tried harder today. Breakfast was oatmeal with dried fruit, walnuts, flaxseed meal and protein powder, and I’ve had several small meals since then, which seems to work better. (This blog won’t turn into a meal-by-meal replay, I promise, but there may be some benefit in at least acknowledging this as a problem and talking about how I’m working on it, or not.)

I was disconnected from the pump on Wednesday, and went to the office Thursday and Friday. Contrary to what you all seem to think, I’m being very careful about not overextending myself: both days I came home mid-afternoon to take a nap. Yesterday was particularly bad: by 4pm I was achy, exhausted and freezing, but a whole lot of sleep and a warm boxer straightened that out. That’s why there was no blog post; yesterday’s blog post will be tomorrow. (This one is still today’s.)

Today’s been a low-key day: laundry and cleaning the cat box have been the most useful things so far. We have a couple errands to run, and I don’t think there’s a single clean bowl in the kitchen, but I’m not planning anything too exciting for the rest of the day. And then tomorrow I get to do colonoscopy prep AGAIN.

Speaking of boxers (and, well, trying to not end this post with laxatives), the kittens tell me there has been FAR TOO MUCH BOXER around here lately (here including twitter and Facebook).


That was this morning; they are looking up at the camera directly overhead. I was reading in bed, but otherwise couldn’t move at all. Fortunately there was a noise outside that required the services of the Feline Investigation Squad, or I might still be there.


  1. Chocolate pudding.

    It’s got lots of dairy & Calcium & dark chocolate.

    And calories. Yummy calories.

  2. Sarah says:

    Michelle, I need to clean the kitchen before I can actually make any, but I do have pre-fab pudding. Though oddly, I’d probably make tapioca. I like it and Nick doesn’t. 🙂

    Not tomorrow, though. Clear liquids only. Bah!

  3. neurondoc says:

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: doctors are evil. And annoying.


  4. Laura says:

    I am fond of tapioca also–it looks like some kind of cell culture in agar, and tastes yummy. I just doubt a dairy-free one would be as appealing, though I keep thinking about it and may try someday.

    1. Sarah says:

      Laura, the internet suggests that nondairy works just fine, since the tapioca and the egg are the thickeners.

      Michelle, I’ve never made chocolate rice pudding either, but chocolate tapioca is good. Bread pudding with dried fruit in it might also be a good thing.

  5. Mari says:

    Huzzah for Kitten Encouragement.

  6. That’s a good reason to make tapioca. 😉

    Rice pudding is also good, and it’s got rice, so that’s EXTRA healthy. But I’ve never tried to put chocolate in it.


  7. Jessica says:

    I lived on garlic toast when I was in my first trimester. The morning noon and night sickness had me where everything sounded terrible. But I had a chance to eat if if Phil made it and put it in front of me without letting me think about it. Maybe no thought food would work for you too. Either have Thorvaldr make something or even order in, but eat it before you have the chance to veto it.

  8. Carol Reed says:

    Good! I’m glad you are taking good care of yourself. You are doing fine at that, though more Feline Nausea Intervention might be good (if the Canine Warmth and Comfort Mass will allow it.

    I’m still trying to understand why Nick should be denied the pleasure of chocolate pudding while you are allowed to enjoy. If you allow him the pleasure at the same time, then there is much more likely to be pudding made for you, as opposed to pre-made store-bought containers or pudding you need to make yourself. *And* there is likely to be a greater variety of flavors — chocolate, while heavenly, can be boring after a while. Mixing in butterscotch and a few other flavors, as special treats, makes the chocolate taste even better. 🙂

    By the way, all of this talk of pudding is making me hungry — not fair!

    1. Sarah says:

      Nick can totally have all the pudding he wants, as long as he doesn’t eat the last serving without asking. But if it’s tapioca, he doesn’t want any.

      He’s never made pudding, I don’t think, so it’s unlikely that we get homemade pudding unless I make it, or Michelle comes to visit. Though I do have her recipe. 🙂