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Still going

I didn’t report on chemo round four, two weeks ago, because it was starting to feel like complaining about the weather. I feel lousy/it’s still snowing: unpleasant to live through, and uninteresting to hear about.

The exact details vary, but the overall pattern is pretty similar: I feel lousy for the three days of chemo, can work on Thursday but everything tastes nasty, start to feel better by Friday, and the second week is really quite normal.

Even though I felt quite good last week, I nearly washed out of chemo this week due to high levels of liver enzymes. They were high last time, and if they didn’t come down this time I’d have to wait a week. But they did come down, though they’re still high, so I’m hooked up to the pump even as I write this.

I’m not being poisoned yet, just waiting for the chemo to get mixed and delivered. I’m not getting pondwater today (IV iron), so I’ll be here less time, except for the delays for the full bloodwork and getting the chemo.

Last round I had the biweekly oncologist meeting. We decided on two more rounds of chemo (today and one more), for a total of six, before a break for scans. That will put them sometime in late April, I guess. I’ll report back when I know more.

My CEA level also came down last time, from the previous test two weeks before that. It’s still very high, but dropping is a good sign.

So, you know, a lot of waiting, a lot of uncertainty, a lot of things I don’t know or won’t know. I’m doing all the things, however unpleasant, because it beats the alternative, but it isn’t much fun at all.


  1. Mom says:

    Prayers, hugs, love

  2. Janiece says:

    I imagine the lack of control (and the not knowing) is the worst. But that could just be my own controlling self projecting.

    Love to you, my friend.

  3. Toni says:

    Sounds like you need some entertainment – I would tap dance nekkid for you, but a) I’m working right now and b) I don’t know if you’re allowed to laugh that hard while hooked up 😉

    Fuck cancer!


  4. Tiar says:

    Hugs and love from both of us. I hope you are better soon! At least it’s getting warmer!

  5. Aoife says:

    So, who’d’a thought it was a boring routine to be a superhero? But we have to come up with a catchy name for you. CANCER F^€¥ER isn’t terribly romantic. Disease Diva? No. I know, “Chemo Crusader!” Okay I give up. But you can wear a beautiful, billowy cape, if it makes you feel better. And some cool knee high red gogo boots (that’s for Nick). Plus, a gold lariat might come in handy when corralling the pup. Or again, Nick. It might be boring, and more of the same, but you got this. Cold.

    Fuck Cancer!


  6. laura g says:

    Oh please don’t let the last bit of why you might not write about your experience(thinking “uninteresting to listen to”, keep you from writing. We are listening, and your experience and feelings, repetitive or not, are your journey through this.
    For some, a camera in hand, slows the world enough to put focus, and see as they would not otherwise. For some words form sentences of meaning that the writer and others may never know otherwise. A view and focus in a place otherwise unknown.
    You are an amazing woman and those friends and fam that check in here care about you and all that you go through and are cheering you on, sending hugs and encouragement through all of it.
    That said, if it is a bother, bore, downer, offers no insights, release, or anything positive to write on it, for sure hoping you go do something better:-)
    Mmm, does “yay chemo” sound strange? Lower liver enzymes, lower CEA, and getting this round of chemo seem oddly in a way cheer worthy.
    Sending much love,

  7. laura g says:

    Restatement – lower liver enzymes and C.E.A. are great news, they mean chemo is a go this week which is good, especially after prepping life for it! So the ” yay chemo” is odd to feel, But cheer worthy it seems.


  9. Anne C. says:

    Thinking of you, Phi. <3