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Ta-dah!

After these contacts with the Middle District Court:
one letter mailed from my oncologist;
3 emails from me, detailing progressively more disgusting chemo side effects and progressively stronger ADA requests for reasonable accommodation;
one phone message from me;
(no reply to any of the above)

one phone message from my oncologist;
one fax from my oncologist;
one phone call to my oncologist;

accompanied by assorted voice and email messages between me and oncologist, and a whole lot of complaining on twitter (and it’s really too bad the court doesn’t have a twitter account, or they’d have been SWAMPED with appalled people):

Status: Excused
You are not required to report for jury duty at this time.

WHY WAS THAT SO HARD?