Fun stuff

Arrr!

Sep 19th, 2011

Today is Talk Like a Pirate Day. This isn’t a holiday I normally celebrate, except to acknowledge the silliness that is the Internet, but this morning’s nag email from Google Calendar said, “You have no events scheduled today” so why not? (I love that email subject line: it makes my day to see it in my inbox first thing in the morning.)

So, in honor of TLAPD:

pirate attire

I tried (semi-successfully) to show both my pirate shirt and the skull earbuds. The eyes on the latter are supposed to light up, but aren’t so reliable. There’s a reason they were on the clearance rack, I think.

And, of course:

pirate attire

Popularity contest

Sep 11th, 2011

by Sarah.

4 comments

A while ago now NPR polled its readers online for what they thought the best 100 SFF books were. The list is a bit odd, with some series combined and other represented by one or two individual entries, but it was interesting nonetheless.

My friends promptly turned it into a meme, and I eventually got around to following suit. I’m writing this in a plain-text editor, so rather than bolding and italicizing I’ll just reorder the lists.

Of the 100 entries, I’ve read 77, left 3 unfinished, and haven’t read 20 (but most of those are on my to-read pile). I’m baffled by a few, and appalled by one. No, I won’t name it. There were also a couple that I think I’ve read, but wasn’t positive on, so left in the unread category.

Have read (or in the case of series, have read a substantial number of the books; 77)

1. The Lord Of The Rings Trilogy, by J.R.R. Tolkien
2. The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy, by Douglas Adams
3. Ender’s Game, by Orson Scott Card
4. The Dune Chronicles, by Frank Herbert
5. A Song Of Ice And Fire Series, by George R. R. Martin
6. 1984, by George Orwell
7. Fahrenheit 451, by Ray Bradbury
8. The Foundation Trilogy, by Isaac Asimov
9. Brave New World, by Aldous Huxley
10. American Gods, by Neil Gaiman
11. The Princess Bride, by William Goldman
13. Animal Farm, by George Orwell
14. Neuromancer, by William Gibson
16. I, Robot, by Isaac Asimov
17. Stranger In A Strange Land, by Robert Heinlein
18. The Kingkiller Chronicles, by Patrick Rothfuss
19. Slaughterhouse-Five, by Kurt Vonnegut
20. Frankenstein, by Mary Shelley
22. Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep?, by Philip K. Dick
23. The Handmaid’s Tale, by Margaret Atwood
24. The Dark Tower Series, by Stephen King
25. 2001: A Space Odyssey, by Arthur C. Clarke
26. The Stand, by Stephen King
27. Snow Crash, by Neal Stephenson
28. The Martian Chronicles, by Ray Bradbury
30. The Sandman Series, by Neil Gaiman
32. Starship Troopers, by Robert Heinlein
32. Watership Down, by Richard Adams
33. Dragonflight, by Anne McCaffrey
34. The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress, by Robert Heinlein
35. A Canticle For Leibowitz, by Walter M. Miller
36. The Time Machine, by H.G. Wells
37. 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea, by Jules Verne
38. Flowers For Algernon, by Daniel Keys
39. The War Of The Worlds, by H.G. Wells
40. The Chronicles Of Amber, by Roger Zelazny
41. The Belgariad, by David Eddings
42. The Mists Of Avalon, by Marion Zimmer Bradley
43. The Mistborn Series, by Brandon Sanderson
44. Ringworld, by Larry Niven
45. The Left Hand Of Darkness, by Ursula K. LeGuin
47. The Once And Future King, by T.H. White
48. Neverwhere, by Neil Gaiman
51. The Hyperion Cantos, by Dan Simmons
52. Stardust, by Neil Gaiman
53. Cryptonomicon, by Neal Stephenson
55. The Last Unicorn, by Peter S. Beagle
57. Small Gods, by Terry Pratchett
58. The Chronicles Of Thomas Covenant, The Unbeliever, by Stephen R. Donaldson
59. The Vorkosigan Saga, by Lois McMaster Bujold
60. Going Postal, by Terry Pratchett
61. The Mote In God’s Eye, by Larry Niven & Jerry Pournelle
62. The Sword Of Truth, by Terry Goodkind
64. Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell, by Susanna Clarke
66. The Riftwar Saga, by Raymond E. Feist
67. The Shannara Trilogy, by Terry Brooks
69. The Farseer Trilogy, by Robin Hobb
72. A Journey To The Center Of The Earth, by Jules Verne
74. Old Man’s War, by John Scalzi
75. The Diamond Age, by Neil Stephenson
76. Rendezvous With Rama, by Arthur C. Clarke
77. The Kushiel’s Legacy Series, by Jacqueline Carey
78. The Dispossessed, by Ursula K. LeGuin
79. Something Wicked This Way Comes, by Ray Bradbury
82. The Eyre Affair, by Jasper Fforde
83. The Culture Series, by Iain M. Banks
84. The Crystal Cave, by Mary Stewart
85. Anathem, by Neal Stephenson
86. The Codex Alera Series, by Jim Butcher
91. The Illustrated Man, by Ray Bradbury
92. Sunshine, by Robin McKinley
94. The Caves Of Steel, by Isaac Asimov
95. The Mars Trilogy, by Kim Stanley Robinson
96. Lucifer’s Hammer, by Larry Niven & Jerry Pournelle
97. Doomsday Book, by Connie Willis
99. The Xanth Series, by Piers Anthony
100. The Space Trilogy, by C.S. Lewis

Have not read (20)

12. The Wheel Of Time Series, by Robert Jordan
15. Watchmen, by Alan Moore
29. Cat’s Cradle, by Kurt Vonnegut
31. A Clockwork Orange, by Anthony Burgess
50. Contact, by Carl Sagan
54. World War Z, by Max Brooks
49. Childhood’s End, by Arthur C. Clarke
56. The Forever War, by Joe Haldeman
63. The Road, by Cormac McCarthy
65. I Am Legend, by Richard Matheson
70. The Time Traveler’s Wife, by Audrey Niffenegger
71. The Way Of Kings, by Brandon Sanderson
73. The Legend Of Drizzt Series, by R.A. Salvatore
80. Wicked, by Gregory Maguire
81. The Malazan Book Of The Fallen Series, by Steven Erikson
87. The Book Of The New Sun, by Gene Wolfe
88. The Thrawn Trilogy, by Timothy Zahn
89. The Outlander Series, by Diana Gabaldon
93. A Fire Upon The Deep, by Vernor Vinge
98. Perdido Street Station, by China Mieville

Started but didn’t finish (3)

46. The Silmarillion, by J.R.R. Tolkien
68. The Conan The Barbarian Series, by R.E. Howard
90. The Elric Saga, by Michael Moorcock

Most of the older ones I read because my father had copies, and I read voraciously as a child. Asimov, Bradbury, and so forth, while I was too young to have any concept of “popular” as applied to books, really. After that I moved on to public libraries, which were also likely to have the most popular works of SFF. Now I still read popular works, but the arbiters of popular for me have changed dramatically.

Drive me away!

Aug 5th, 2011

by Sarah.

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I have an enormous backlog of half-finished articles, links and videos and cool things, brilliant ideas, flash fictions that fade in the middle… I haven’t had time or internet access sufficient to get them all out to you.

It actually isn’t due to spending all my time on Google+, honest. See above, lack of internet access (thanks, Verizon).

But here are a couple, at least:

I have a new Science in My Fiction article, on self-driving cars. Want!

I’m a reader, most or all of my friends are readers, many of my acquaintances are readers. But is that something we should expect of everyone?

The truth about Van Halen’s brown M&Ms. This is fascinating, and clever.

The absolutely wonderful and highly influential Hermione Granger series.

And some Friday music.

This Cold Mailmen video really is stop motion. They did it in a set of Norwegian office buildings that were vacant and set to be demolished.

The Emperor’s Decrees

by Sarah.

1 comment

The Emperor sneezed. Even the torrential downpour hadn’t settled the spring pollen. Curse those catilies! Everyone planted them for the vibrant pink blooms, but he was violently allergic. There should be a law.

The Emperor looked down at the paper he held. No, ninety decrees was enough, even if he’d forgotten the catily flowers. One couldn’t expect one’s subjects to bear too much.

The Emperor stepped out from the doorway where he’d huddled against the rain. Scattered hailstones crunched underfoot. He could feel each one through the worn soles of his boots. Nobody was in the square, but the Emperor knew they would come.

“Decree the First: There shall be no talking goldfish in municipal fountains.” This worried him. A goldfish had spoken to him yesterday while he was washing his face.

It said, “Blurble blurb,” and he couldn’t figure out what that meant, but he knew it was important. The Emperor didn’t want the goldfish repeating its message to his enemies. The simple solution was to ban all talking goldfish in public places. He’d never seen a goldfish swimming on the cobblestones, so he only needed to ban them from the fountains.

A little girl in a grubby dress stopped before him as he read the fourth decree, the one about encouragement of fireflies. They should be offered food and drink in exchange for their flickering lights. He didn’t know what exactly they ate or drank, but that was why one had advisors, to attend to such details.

The little girl threw something at him. He was momentarily distracted by the way her pigtails swirled as she pulled her arm back, then released, but he still managed to dodge the whatever-it-was, and it splatted on the cobblestones behind him.

The square filled with people, flushed couples arm in arm, a few with stern-faced chaperones. The musicians must be taking a break, giving everyone a bit of fresh air before they returned to the whirl of the dance. The Emperor raised his voice, pleased to have such a large audience for his decrees. “Fifteen. The dreadnaughts of the Empire shall be kept free of limpets at all times.” He was a bit fuzzy on what a limpet was, perhaps a large goldfish, but the Emperor was quite certain that they did not mix well with his navy’s ships.

He sneezed again. His throat was getting rough with reading all these decrees, but the Emperor knew that he could make it through all ninety. He was the divinely-anointed Emperor, and he could do whatever was needful. He read on.

“Forty-three.” He was interrupted by a pair of his city guards before he could start to read the body of the forty-third decree.

“We’re sorry, Your Emperorship, but there’s been a threat on your life. You need to come with us, and we’ll protect you. The Emperor recognized the guard who spoke. The man was a loyal subject, often protecting him at night. The second guard grinned foolishly at his companion. The Emperor saw, but chose to ignore the man’s disrespect.

“I must finish announcing my decrees to my loyal subjects,” he replied. “You may wait here until I’m finished.”

“I don’t think so, old man,” the second guard said. “We’ve got orders to bring you in. You’re disturbing the law-abiding citizens, the ones who ain’t crazy.”

The Emperor folded up his ninety decrees and tucked them into his breast pocket, his hands shaking. He would read the next batch tomorrow evening. Eventually his subjects would have heard them all, and the best empire in the world would become even better. He followed the guards, secure in the knowledge that they would protect him for the evening, keep him warm and out of the rain, maybe even feed him. They didn’t bother to take his arms; he’d never given them any trouble.

He felt for the tiny gold coin sewn into the hem of his tattered jacket. It comforted him to feel it there. It reminded him of his mother when she was happy. Before she died screaming, bathed in her own blood and that of his father, as he watched through the fringe that concealed his hiding place.

His father’s face was on the coin, though the Emperor never dared take it out of its concealment to look at his features, so like what he saw reflected in the fountain. Before he got old, at least, and without so many goldfish.

Sometimes, late at night, the Emperor wished his mother’s face had been stamped on the coin instead.

This is another twitter-inspired short piece. I collected prompts, and spent under an hour plotting and writing. No revision, no editing; what you get is what you get, but they’re a great antidote to writer angst.

Tonight’s prompts:

Prompts
the Universe: 90 decrees (geometry typo); catilies (fascinating captcha word)
Nick: dreadnaught; harassment
@quasigeo: hailstorm; contra dance
@notmoro: fireflies
@notanyani: allergies; pink
@jaymgates: mismanaged schedules; talking goldfish; pigtails
@ravyn the Incredible Mr. Limpet

This makes me happy

Jun 13th, 2011

by Sarah.

3 comments

My new motto

May 30th, 2011

by Sarah.

Comments are off for this post

Is here.

So anyway

Apr 20th, 2011

by Sarah.

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These are the things I had intended to post this morning when I got sidetracked.

(By “this morning,” I mean “Monday”, and by “sidetracked,” I mean “completely swamped.” Just so you know.)

XKCD has a timeline of future events. SF writers, there’s an entire career’s worth of ideas in here. You have to go there, because you have to read the mouse-over comment.

Something I couldn’t have posted until today regardless (and part of what I was so busy with on Monday): I have a new review on The Portal, this time of the F&SF May/June issue.

“How to Steal Like an Artist,” interesting and possibly useful advice from Austin Kleon. Finding ideas, learning who you are, pretending to be something you’re not.

Oh right, I only had two things on Monday. Maybe that’s why I didn’t post anything.

Got to fly

Mar 9th, 2011

by Sarah.

1 comment

Need a space program? Start your own!

To add to the cheer, more short-sighted behavior: Governor Corbett’s new Pennsylvania state budget cuts the funding for Penn State and other state universities by over 50%.

Yes, the economy is bad. Yes, the state and nation do not have as much money as they’d like. Cutting education is one of the most short-sighted things that could possibly be done to fix it. Infrastructure is critical. Education is critical.

I want to live in a civilized country, and am willing to pay for it. Education, high-speed rail, health care, police, fire, sidewalks, clean air and water: all marks of civilization, and necessary to if we want the US to be healthy, prosperous, a world leader in more than our own minds. Raise taxes, especially on those who can afford it. Take care of those who can’t afford it. Invest in science, engineering, transport, research, health care.

Be a civilized country.

Hello March

Mar 1st, 2011

by Sarah.

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And goodbye February. I’ve never gotten along with that month. In fact, I blame it for a lot of things. Good riddance until next year.

I was moderately productive in February, in the writing department. I finished and revised two short stories, and am just waiting on my beta reader before I submit them. I started planning a new novel, an urban fantasy I’ve been kicking the rudiments of around for a couple years. Now it has its own Scrivener file, an outline, some character sketches. Fun! I need to devote more time to finishing stuff this year (motto for 2011: “The End”), but its good for me to have several projects in various stages of completion awaiting me. I think I also promised to give a talk on social media for writers to the local writing group next fall.

For the other writer types, or those who spend time with writers: The Writer’s Survival Guide. From the article: “And so I give unto you: coping mechanisms. Fellow penmonkeys, compatriot wordslingers, if you want to do this job and not end up shellacked in your own snot-froth while hanging from the ceiling fan — if you are to survive at all with your mind and spirit intact — then you must do as I say. Do not deviate, lest you be struck down by your own lunacy.”

Here’s something I got from Warren Ellis. It relates to a less-well-developed novel idea that I should get to in a year or so, and I want to save it for then.

Immaterials: Light painting WiFi from Timo on Vimeo.

Developing new shiny ideas is more fun than finishing projects in progress, but it is now time to start rewrites on Paper Magic. I alternately feel like I know how to do this and have no clue at all what I’m doing. Fortunately I know enough writers by now to recognize that as normal, and to understand that the only thing to do is keep working.

Changing the subject entirely, if you can’t beat them, eat them: invasivory. Strike a blow for native species by consuming the invasives yourself. Complete with recipes!

And one more topic switch: things you can do with guitars!

Are you cursed?

Feb 14th, 2011

by Sarah.

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(via Neil Gaiman)